The Watchmen

I went to see this movie last week. I really can't say I'm a prude of any type as I can make a sailor blush with limited effort and I am a fan of the martial arts, but enough is enough.

I don't feel so guilty when critcizing a work by someone who has enough fame not to be hurt by my comments, and frankly, they don't care what the likes of me thinks anyway, but let me talk about this film and there will be spoilers aplenty.

The story starts with a murder. A character called the comedian is killed in a violent struggle for his life. He was a hero, a war veteran and a real scumbag. By the time you learn more about this character the more grateful you are to the killer.
First, the comedian isn't funny. The irony behind this is told by the other hero in this retired gang of superheroes, Roshack. (more than likely spelled wrong)

You see Roshack is an abuse survivor and moralist, the comedian would be his foil. the final joke is on the people themselves when Roshack points out there is no real good, when the forces of good are willing to do evil in the name of good.

Confused?

I don't blame you. Let me talk about the characters. In the 1940's The Watchmen became such effective crime fighters there was no more need for police. The comedian brutally beats his fellow superhero and attempts to rape her. He is stopped by his fellow crimefighters. (nothing happens to the abuser)
Later you find out the next generation heroine is the child of the rapist and the girl superhero (these characters are so bland I can't remember their names.) seems she let him have a second shot.

Please. If a woman is tough enough to fight off a superman is she really weak enough to let the SOB take a second shot at her? I couldn't find this realistic at all, unless she was a dolt or a doormat, no woman in her right mind would let this masogynist near her.

Her daughter grows up to be a superhero in her own right. Falls in love with some radioactive man with glowing blue skin and an impressive member. He is naked through most of the movie and Mr. Happy is glowing for most of it.
Great. A smurf on steroids.
This romance started after Mr. Blue dumped his lady love for a younger woman then he is devoid of emotion (not to mention morals, personality or sensitivity) and she dumps him for a nice, bland younger, former super hero, whose name I also cannot remember.

The duo rescue Roshack from prison. The one character with depth and likeability, brilliantly played. He is tortured, he is committed to ridding the world of moral disease. Problem is, he works with most of it.

The violence is over the top and unnecessary. When the baddies try to get Roshack in his cell, thug gets his hands tied, then his arms cut off when his boss gets hold of a chain saw and dismmebers his lackey for being in the way of the door. so you are looking at a double amputee with blood gushers flowing from two bloody stumps.

The good guys (after some sex) do save Roshack, though it was hardly necessary. One fight scene focused on the heroines stilletto shoes and long flowing hair. I guess dressing like a slut increases your armor class?

The end was interesting, I liked the twist and if you haven't seen the movie, quit reading now.
I really am trying to save you $10.

The former superhero, (now mega rich) has decided in order to save billions, a few million have to die. He blames Blue member for bombing New York so the world can unite against a new enemy. This sends big blue off to outer space to live out his days and makes a hero out of the hero turned villain so the greater good could be served. Now we have world peace and it only cost a few million lives. This put Roshack over the edge and he allows himself to be killed. His life was a lie, his mission to punish the guilty was made a lie with his team mates actions, and to live would be spitting in the face of truth.

I was sad. He was the only character I could care about.
So the movie ends with a stalemate of sorts. The Watchmen can't punish the bad guy because he is a good guy, yet he just killed off New york to serve the greater good.
err...
Now the world is at peace and the newspapers are bummed. Nothing to print you understand, until the news geek finds Roshack's journal, hope! there is enough dirt in there to win a pulitzer for sure.
This is how the movie ends, not a bang or a whimper just trumped up special effects to cover a weak plot and weaker acting.
Sadly, its a trend.