Pushy People

We've all met them:

conventional wisdom calls it assertiveness. somehow its empowering to "Assert" yourself into another's business to the point they are ready to hire a hit man.
maybe they should.
I have been plagued with pushy people my whole life starting with family.
I baby sat in high school for a terrific lady named Judy. Judy was my mentor, whether she knew it or not, she perhaps saved my sanity and saved me a fortune on prozac.
Mom would ask how much the house my client lived in cost. She then seemed to want a list of assets and an approximation of client net worth.
huh?
how the hell do I know? I'm 17 and I am not in real estate.
It didn't stop there, privacy was an issue. It wasn't an issue for her, she didn't understand the concept. I got a letter from my sister. I didn't even get to touch the envelope before mom tears it open and starts to read it. My sis was pissed at me and mom was clicking her tongue telling me how mad she was and of course it was my fault.
My sister wasn't good about privacy either. her 4 year old went rummaging through my closet and found condoms. big trouble for me, but no talk to junior about discretion being the better part of valor.
I had roommates who took my car without permission, boy friends who wanted to have sex with all my friends until they dumped me.
the latest incident being the mom of my sons girlfriend rifling through my closet.
I try to be nice, i really do
she wanted to know what was in my spare room and i told her it was storage. she couldnt wait to get in there! why?
she finally backed off after I told her it was where i hid the bodies of the last few bitches who coujldn't respect my privacy.
In this age of tell all, i need to be assertive to tell them all off.
If you want a tell all, watch Springer.
Back off or i will assert my foot into your ass.

yea, i didn't I do that?