I love happy endings, so let me start with one.
His name is Rusty, we have been together for 20 years. In all this time the one quality that warms my heart and makes me love him all over again is the fact he is a Southern gentleman.
He opens every door for me, drops me off at the front of the building before he finds a parking spot, and never fails to be polite to me, even when I am at my not so lovable. Every kind word and gesture has cemented my love for him.
I have grown so accustomed to his polite ways that I become confused when other men don't seem to understand the reason I keep staring at the door like a puppy and wait for them to open it for me. it takes a while, but i'm patient. eventually they figure it out.
It's hard enough to see manners fall by the way, but it seems acts of kindness have fallen victim to our current mind set as a society. We don't offer old ladies a seat or offer to help a woman carry packages to her car. It's enough to make me wage war on the feminits. (but that's another blog). I wonder if young women understand what they are missing when the simple pleasures of common courtesy have been ripped from their experience by well meaning enlightenists.
I know etiquette. Please, Thank you, may I? Simple phrases used to lubricate the gears of civility and present a comfortable setting. I can be polite, honest, unless courtesy is denied me.
I can't abide rudeness, it chafes.
I have seen Rusty jump from the car to help a lady stalled in traffic and push her car off the road. I have known him to wait after work until a female customer was picked up after dropping her vehicle off at the shop so she wouldn't be bothered. He has physically escorted a customer out of a restaurant for sexually harrassing a waitress.
I love chivalry.
along the way I figured out the difference between etiquette and real manners. Courtesy is a good thing but real manners comes from a genuine caring for another person. It seems we have forgotten to care. Too involved in our schedules, ourselves, and worry over offending someone , manners have fallen by the way. What was once common courtesy seems to be looked on with distrust. I will never forget being called into my bosses office. I was written up for creating an uncomfortable work environment. I called people sir and maám and they didn't know what to make of it so I got a discipline note put in my file. Seriously. I am not making this up.
I signed the document and laughed as I folded my copy and put it in my pocket, I then apologized for the inconveniece and promised her I would try to tone down the professionalism.
we worked in a hospital. Why would sick people and fellow nurses need to be treated with courtesy? I can't imagine what I was thinking.
I have to admit my temper got the best of me one day when I was at the check out lane and and the girl told me not to call her maám. I got annoyed. "I never met you before what the hell else am I going to call you. this should be the norm, its called manners."
ok rudely pointing out one's lack of manners does not excuse my lack but honestly I do have my limits. Dealing with what is now called "the raunch culture" has tested these limits to the full.
My beloved may be a relic from the past, a throwback if you will, but I wouldn't have it any other way. It's amazing how far something as simple as a thank you can make you feel valued, even cherished. The world has grown callous in its speech and manner. Profanity is the norm while courtesy is looked on with suspicion. These are indeed strange times.
I propose a rebellion. Join me in subverting societal norms! A return of common courtesy. A counter culture of civility! Dust off the old courtly manners, make people wonder, cause a rukus, if nothing else, it seems to make them wonder what you are up to.
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